FORGET THE KING... HAIL HIS NUTTY FANS
INVASION OF THE ELVI
His music was played throughout
the house by my mother when I was very young. She made me watch his Vegas special
in the 70s. Then he died and I kinda forgot about him.
Until listening to Public Enemy in the early 90s, where Chuck D raps, "Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me. You see, straight-up racist that sucker was, simple and plain. Motherfuck him and John Wayne." ('Fight the Power')
Huh? My mother loved no racist, but my dad.
I later heard Elvis was spotted flying around in a UFO, later hanging out with Bigfoot.
Que? Flying saucers and Sasquatch.
What the hell am I to believe about this "king", as well as my mom's musical taste?
I had to do some research. I soon found Presley was many things: a pervert, a paranoid, a drug addict - but not a racist, and definitely no yeti-loving, spaceman.
It was believed Elvis once said, "The only thing I want from black folks is to shine my boots and buy my records." Today, this is deemed a myth, similar to BK Shoes being owned by the British Knights of the Ku Klux Klan or Gloria Vanderbuilt asking blacks not to wear her jeans. It's well known Elvis risked his neck to hang out at black jump-joints in his youth, as well as older black musicians claiming he actually helped many of their careers.
As much as Elvis was, and is now, to his fans, he has nothing on them who are mostly nuts. Well, nuttier than him, at least.
Here in the states, Elvismania hits hardest.
New Jersey resident Fran Horrocks loved Presley so much that when her daughter died she buried her clutching an Elvis LP and in a dress Fran wore to her first Elvis show. Her husband soon divorced her claiming, "excessive devotion to Elvis Presley." The ex-Mrs. Horrocks moved to Memphis to be closer to the King's corpse.
Inventor Rich Twedell made veggie and fruit containers that encased the plant material so it may grow in a desired shape. His Elvis-head editions were his best seller, until Elvis Presley Enterprises gave him the "cease and desist."
An entire book, written by Al Jacobs ('The Two Kings'), covers coincidence and comparisons in the lives of Christ and Presley.
In Alabama an Elvis impersonator named Orion was so good at fooling talk shows and voice experts with his fake tape recorded "messages from Elvis" (after the King's death), that he released an album of cover songs, complete with duets with Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins, and backed by Elvis' original band The Jordanaries. It was also claimed by many a conspiracy theorist that Orion was a cover for Elvis so he could still record music, while keeping the public believing him to be dead.
Musicians love him so much they sing songs about a man who sung songs, like Mojo Nixon's "Elvis Is Everywhere" and The Residents "The King and Eye". Some bands even impersonate him, like Dred Zeppelin's Tortelvis and Mexico's El Vez.
But, brothers and sisters, the King is so loved the world over, people want to lick him, as after the U.S. finally released an Elvis stamp, Bhutan, Guyana, Antigua, Virgin Islands and even the Republic of Chad (theirs' with Elvis musically battling it out with Bill Clinton and his saxophone) issued Elvi stamps.
In Queensland, Australia a Greek Elvis impersonator and grocer named his new store, Grapeland, while legally changing his name to Elvis Parsley.
In parts of Europe, many of those caught up in the Messianic bloodline theory have claimed Elvis descends from the lineage of the House of David. Some have gone so far as to claim he died while reading a book on the shroud of Turin.
When Elvis-san broadcast "Aloha from Hawaii" in Japan, he received 98 percent of the viewing audience.
In Newcastle, England, artist Shaun Odour publishes, what many Elvis fan called, "the worst Elvis publication ever", which was no more than photographs of models with Elvis' face superimposed. England is also where they made the documentary 'To Find Me', where they follow the life of Jarrow Elvis, who many Elvis fans believe to be the "worst Elvis impersonator ever."
The Granddaddy of Rock 'N' Roll did have his retractors too, as many visit Graceland to gape in awe, while others visit to heave scorn? Yep, Elvis Presley Enterprises quickly removes any graffiti found on the property. Some that have been missed and caught on camera are:
"Elvis may be king, but he ain't no Joe Strummer."
"Distended anus! The King is dead and I feel fine."
- and -
"Elvis - smoke crack in Hell, you fat, dead fuck!"
A Russian newspaper, 'Youth World', once wrote, "Elvis Presley was a weapon of the American psychological war aimed at influencing a part of inhumanity. Making our adolescents want to destroy anything that is beautiful in order to prepare for war."
I wonder what they thought of punk rock?
The German army agreed in a public statement by writing, "The misuse of rock-n-roll by NATO forces us in its Cold War against the Socialist nations."
All in all, it seems I have a hell of a lot more to write about the wackiness of fans and haters of the King, over the King himself, but then again I haven't checked out his movies yet.